MetroSEXUAL BASHING

Metrosexual Bashing

Scene - two MetroSEXUALS sit with backs against wall on floor of Eaton Center (MALL in Toronto) There are two Police Officers questioning a fierce black queen and his little mute Asian friend

Why did, I beat him up, Sir

he looks like a fag, and he's not!

My boyfriend and I hate those metrosexuals.

What's wrong with that, if he looks like a gay man and and he's not, Sir?

He has more lipstick on than my sister.

Sir, I believe that is blood on his lips.

Whatever!

You can't tell if they are fags or not.

If your straight look straight.

Don't clip your chest hair,

shop less at the cosmetics counter

Look, he's even crying like a little girl, you want your mommy?

Sir, please lower your voice.

if I see one more of those with an amber combie and finch bag their all dead meat.

Fags don't shop their anymore,

There shouldn't flaunt themselves like that

their just asking

for a beating,

Those metros, all smell like papaya and coconut

its nauseating

they all just smell like fruits.

Oh My God, there is another one.

(Little Asian boyfriend takes of running past the police, does a baseball slide from behind the second Metrosexual COUPLE. He grabs the bag and those it over the railing to the lower level and takes off running out of the mall.

One of the police states,

Man that little guy is quick on his feet.

One of the metros sitting on the floor states.

Don't you mean light on his feet  Sir.

Black queen, looks down,

I don't think you have enough rouge on those checks of yours! (and starts slapping his across the face)

Sir, Sir, Sir we will have to take you in,

Don't touch me, this is gucci.