You Left Me Standing on a Street Corner

I will give you some of the this sweet pain,

its a beautiful thing.

Believe in me,

This pain will set you free,

Its worth societies shame of how we became free.

Internalized hate from the gays, still living in yesterday.

That missed the boat to sail into the sunset,

Free from what we're expected, to be safe.

to leave,

stay hidden, 

To do nothing, but lay down our heads, cry why me, and die not looking so pretty,

emaciated

We broke the rules,

we fuck all night and walk the streets still announcing 

ME!

Its me still.

We are all here

We are prettier than you, even with this HIV, Still

Don't,  

but you have left my life.

I was here before, the HIV, came into me

I never went anywhere,

You left me standing on the street corner,

cold 

Even though the sun lit the sky like never before,

I see, not only me, but  all that is surrounding, never seen before this H.I.V

You could not have missed me standing there waiting, for you to take my hand,

You left me standing there on the street corner.

Why did you go? Leaving me alone.

I don't belong here standing on the edge of this life.

I never went anywhere that curb approached me , instead  of you,

I am left standing on the street corner, 

I never was suppose to stand this close, to the curb, 

now alone,

looking both ways,

Why did you go?

No help to cross this street anymore, never seen before.

I am left standing on the street corner alone 

To make the decision, alone

 To cross without looking both ways. 

Try to get to the other side of this life I never was suppose to have experienced,  alone.

Standing contemplating.

What is best.

Me waiting in vain for you to return, to this street corner or try to cross it alone?

Its hidden in the pills, the answer to the question, the map to safely cross that street

When I pop those pills,  say  AIDS Away. 

Fewer in number than your vitamins B12, vitamin e , d, m, f z x c, 
so many you swallow, everyday. so many, 
not me.

No immune system, when did you last, you make me sick 

eights years ago.

I am healthier than you now

I made it to the other side of that street, alone

Without you, wish I understood this eight years before today

Had been given the map to cross safely the street

Still alive, I didn't Kill myself, from making the decision not to look both ways before trying to cross the street.

Believe, me,

Understand me, 

You never will, ,, we broke the rules.

I am healthier than you.