Couple emails sent to Ottawa

Prime Minister Harper.

 

My leadership of this country, the men and woman in place to Serve and Protect have failed me today in this country. I am disgusted to call myself a Canadaian still today.

 

http://www.juniorbruna.blogspot.com/

 

 

 

 

Christopher Thomas Thornborrow

 

I did what was socially responsible, I did what my leaderdhip of this country expected. I am attacked for being responsible, and no one thinks I am worth looking at or asking a single question. Everyone in this country disgusts me today.

 

You have a great day.

 

added note today not original email responsible means -  (be proactive about my health and others along side me, be tested for HIV)

Am not worth looking at because I tested positive for HIV? 

 

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Prime Minister Harper

I  am not one for gossip, obviously. There is a rumor here in Toronto, that our Mayor Rob Ford is one of the people yelling out over the city. Not only here in the east end where I live, but I was downtown and you could here people on the street actually asking each other. Is it really Rob Ford?

We in Toronto wondered why you wouldn't meet Rob Ford inside the city limits to give your support to him, when he ran for Mayor.

Sincerely,

Christopher Thomas Thornborrow

(juniorBRUNA)

 

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Officer Vince Hawkes.

I take my life very seriously. I have a group of people that wanted me erased from this world. Everything I worked to create and build to be dismissed and thrown away, as if it was worth nothing.

I do not care who they are, may they be members of my family or people from my past. I want them charged if you can make this possible, thank-you. If you are unable to, I still extend a thank-you for taking the time to try to make this happen. I hope to hear from you in some capacity in the future regarding this matter.

I am unwavering in my thoughts to go forward with charges if possible, no matter who is involved.

Sincerely,

Christopher Thomas Thornborrow

(juniorBRUNA)

I am Legally Divorced end of this month.

Section from a piece I am working on (True Story)

In red are the words said to me, at the time I thought where voices in my head (unknowingly they were real people just trying to make me think I had lost my mind) Just a practical joke, they say now, read and see how evil has touched me and others I know and knew. Rest in Peace.

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You fucking bitch, I now know how you are doing this!

I'll slit your face,

Yes I will, you are not real.

I don't know what you are stuffing up under my cupboard, you lie

You're telling me to kill myself.

You're going to shoot me in the head, if I leave my home!

Leave this world.

You motherfucker,

Christ

Christ

Christ

Christ

Christopher, Christopher

We Love you, know kill yourself.

Reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal (real)

Positively, no way, no reason, this can be happening

just positive

I believe.

We are in your head, we are your conscious of what you did.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Music -

Country roads take me home to a place

(I Believe) I belong West Virginia, mountain

(Mama) mama, take me home,

country roads.

I have walked this path; I have stopped running to look around

I realize, I am part of a lost mind.

I have lost my way again today.

There is something different

Its much darker inside this time, not the same as before..

Thats the night, time to go to sleep and disappear from this life.

Every time I turn a corner, there is no light.

Just my mind looking back at me, discussing, how I am different in this darkness.

that is my life

Put your hands up!

Put your hands up!

Kneel and pray

Oh. Mary!, Oh Mary!

I am real

No ones there to hear us

We will have you dance with God,

not the Devil

There's no one here, but us, they all left you, by yourself.

Put your hands up,

Put your hands up

That’s right, KNELL

What, I have lost my way?

Erase the tapes / erase the mind / think back to when you were mine.

Who?, Who her

– our minds are made up about you!

If you’re my voice in my mind, they would all be male.

You’re not listening to your mind.

The scent, you like the smell – it over powers you.

No,it turns my stomach.

Don’t make us remind you, of what you do.

Erase my mind, the selfish one, so ugly is my reflection.

now revealed, what delusional people lead to believe he's so stable, he's lost in his own reflection on every shiny surface.

Why bother wearing those cheap sunglasses as the circles under your eyes are as black as the lenses that see, this misshaped wonder in front of me.

Rips it off the hinges,

Don't damage the apartment.

What........

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Can you handle the reality - of it

may drive you insane that is why your are hiding from us.

You are walking blind AGAIN. Let us be who makes you

see who you really are .

I can handle anything

Content and happy one morning in bed eating.

No! he is not eating a piece of toast. He is eating an english muffin with cheese-wise.

I look around to see

Shutter over window is closed, black out blind is drawn.

Thank-you for correcting her, yes I am eating an english muffin with cheese-wise and not a piece of toast.

I think he heard us...

What the hell is going on? 

This was the day I began to loose my mind, because no one can see inside my apartment, or inside my private hell that was to come.

No one believed me, 

 I lost my mind, lost everything.......

Here..... this is no existence to us, or you.

It started with just gay.

Now its all this dirt, crammed into this little apartment,

a life supposedly so big and successful

its been fooling us all,

its all been just lies.

Time to have it for what it is.

You understanding yourself, your mind is confused

No grasp of reality, you see.

The world outside no longer exists.

shadows don't lurk - stark no confidence.

No mind,

no matter,

how my mind is bent over the bed looking under.

there you are my little black troll man.

miss the television, you little bastard of mine.

The Devil sees with one eye

God sees with the other.

My mind ..... holds the key to unlock the door between

Your mind is cracked.

to become whole again

so I dream, one me.

I am in the middle of it all.

You see me?

We see everything....

------------------------------------------------------------------------

direction - man sits on couch and tilts head backwards and slowly opens

his mouth - from behind couch, orange light shines up narrow at bottom

wider at top.

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Hunting,

bears, dear, doves

my dearest love

life,

partridge

I am moved to love myself.

How do they hear my inner voice,

it lays not behind my couch,

but beneath the skin,

inside the leather ,

it lurks,

inside,

how dare they, place a mic inside my fucking couch, seek to get inside my mind

my stomach did growl

I am not a cheap whore,

you can not pay me to shut my mouth,

and raise my ass in the air,

to get fucked, by ,

you,

your mother,

your father,

your brother,

I am JUNIOR, now fuck you all,

I do the fucking today tonight and tomorrow,

see you all in hell.

This is not real, What I am talking about? Step one towards insanity.

Complete.

Couch swings 100%

Searching, for the one

something

that looks down on me.

Praying I will survive the wrath,

of God

His eyes, burn my mind, burn my skin

mark(ed) by him, forever

by God

the Devil

or by my own mind from inside, from behind my couch.

They are on the inside.

Burnt skin all that is missing is, what is masking the scent,

The ugliness that is laughing at it.

The never ending tear hidden behind my sunglasses.

Laughing at you, we made you ugly, laugh at yourself, now

That's right myself, today.

I remember, I was pretty inside,

now my mind tells me to kill myself no one will love someone

this ugly.

------------------

In a Living Hell

I am in a living hell, living it out,
In front of you all,
Mocked at every moment,
By all,
God why have you done this to me?
Left trapped
inside these four walls,
To live out this hell,
In front of more than just you,
but, In front of them all,
Left in pain,
Left on my leather couch,
That is as cold as their stare,
Left with them looking into me
That portal into my most personal place,
My wounds,
My pain,
My living hell
Being lived out,
In front of you all.

How I feel this Morning!

Just a pic for you to see how I look today and my mood.

I think I my have caught my Aura on camera today. It showed up on three other pics today.

A Bit of Me

Here is the start of redecorating of my living room. This is the coffee table I just refinished, it was beige with gold trim. Now Fantastic white and red.

The pink big is a Henry Allen, proceeds went to the Human Society. It is the cast of a real piglet that died from inhuman conditions. Her name is Maybull.

Its about 3am and now, a side note. Unbelievably the best coffee in Toronto is from the 7Eleven, just getting back.
7 hazelnut creams, a double splash of 18% cream, and 2 or 3 brown sugar packs (depends on size of coffee)

Enjoy!

You Left Me Standing on a Street Corner

I will give you some of the this sweet pain,

its a beautiful thing.

Believe in me,

This pain will set you free,

Its worth societies shame of how we became free.

Internalized hate from the gays, still living in yesterday.

That missed the boat to sail into the sunset,

Free from what we're expected, to be safe.

to leave,

stay hidden, 

To do nothing, but lay down our heads, cry why me, and die not looking so pretty,

emaciated

We broke the rules,

we fuck all night and walk the streets still announcing 

ME!

Its me still.

We are all here

We are prettier than you, even with this HIV, Still

Don't,  

but you have left my life.

I was here before, the HIV, came into me

I never went anywhere,

You left me standing on the street corner,

cold 

Even though the sun lit the sky like never before,

I see, not only me, but  all that is surrounding, never seen before this H.I.V

You could not have missed me standing there waiting, for you to take my hand,

You left me standing there on the street corner.

Why did you go? Leaving me alone.

I don't belong here standing on the edge of this life.

I never went anywhere that curb approached me , instead  of you,

I am left standing on the street corner, 

I never was suppose to stand this close, to the curb, 

now alone,

looking both ways,

Why did you go?

No help to cross this street anymore, never seen before.

I am left standing on the street corner alone 

To make the decision, alone

 To cross without looking both ways. 

Try to get to the other side of this life I never was suppose to have experienced,  alone.

Standing contemplating.

What is best.

Me waiting in vain for you to return, to this street corner or try to cross it alone?

Its hidden in the pills, the answer to the question, the map to safely cross that street

When I pop those pills,  say  AIDS Away. 

Fewer in number than your vitamins B12, vitamin e , d, m, f z x c, 
so many you swallow, everyday. so many, 
not me.

No immune system, when did you last, you make me sick 

eights years ago.

I am healthier than you now

I made it to the other side of that street, alone

Without you, wish I understood this eight years before today

Had been given the map to cross safely the street

Still alive, I didn't Kill myself, from making the decision not to look both ways before trying to cross the street.

Believe, me,

Understand me, 

You never will, ,, we broke the rules.

I am healthier than you.

The City is Rumbling in the distance,,It keeps saying

"Do you know what junior?"

I always respond, "What"

then "Do you know what?"

i say "What"

I have been waiting for an answer to that question from this crazy woman in Toronto for ages....I don't think she even knows what is what.


Anyways here couple photos, to distracted to do much more than take pictures

The Three Generations of A.I.D.S, Now H.I.V

Last night my good friend Mike and I were talking about issues surrounding H.I.V in Toronto and Canada. We talked about stigma, discrimination, disclosure and how we are still the same people as we were before H.I.V.
.
H.I.V did not change us, Stigma has not changed us, We are the same people. Stigma has created a new environment for us to work and play. One filled with HATE for us who broke the rules of who and what we were to be after H.I.V found us.

First Generation - A.I.D.S Victim

Second Generation - Person Living with A.I..D.S

Third Generation - Healthy H.I.V Positive Person. (Mike and myself agree  we are third generation)