Friday, 31 August 2012
Thursday, 30 August 2012
going through my files found this ...written awhile ago
first draft no edits, just what i thought at the time.......so judge...LOL
When
will someone speak to me,
in
a language I'll understand.
Not
riddled with lies to manipulate, those weak minds.
They
speak hidden in darkness.
The
shadows that follow me are not part of my life.
but
of their shame.
hidden
in what they think is right way to
be,
the
right thing to be
Kill
a life.
so
they will be bigger than me. (themselves)
myself
and I.
I
played dead for them.
My
bite is harsher than they think.
I
want their heads presented to me on a plater,
for
me to feast.
They
are all dead to me.
They
give me what I need to have the hate to succeed.
nature
nothing that they be,
Nobodies,
forever here with me
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
a random
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
a random
Knol
Aust - music 50:35 - 50:23
49:25
- 48:49
'What
happened to the Fashion?"
"What
happened to the Avant Garde?"
"What
happened to the Art"
of
Fashion.
"What
happened to the Fashion?"
"Project
Runway what a bunch of Junk."
"What
happened to the Underground"
"Artists"
(voice Vicki - Knol
Aust 46:53)
"Welcome
to Wonderland"
Create
- (Voice Ralph)
Fashion
- (Voice Vicki)
Knol
Aust 44:10 - 43:29
Give
me something sticky,
Give
me some grit,
Give
me Awe, give me something to unzip
show
me your technique.
Give
me something wild,
I
want to be sticky and gritty,
Give
me something to unzip
Knol
Aust - 42:11 - 40:04
I
am just a party animal,
I
want to touch your body.
From
Rock and Roll to Electro.
This
girl is in heat.
i
am on fire,
I
want to get sticky
give
something to unzip.
---------------------------------------------------
Knol
Aust - 38:32 UFO Electro Rockers 35:39
I
saw a UFO and nobody believes me,
I
was sixteen miles from home, with nobody in sight,
The
lights were so Bright. 33:13
Who's
going to help me get home tonight?
Today has been a day, they just won't stop.
I am doing no talking, trying to do a few things around the house, be private, and they think they have one up one me. What is their problem. They think we are in some kind of battle, they are winning something...they are trying to disrupt my entire day? They are influencing my every move and mood... I don't know, here are a few photos i worked on this afternoon from last night...enjoy...
Wednesday, 29 August 2012
just some photos,
Off that topic back to some photos of "filling up my time with sooomething! Other than thoughts of C%^K right ladies as you would say.......finally....sorry but not for long.
Saturday, 25 August 2012
I am approached right infront of my home.
Yesterday i am working on some wood stump stools on my front porch. All day woman and men yelling through the neighborhood. Than an Asian teenager where black rimmed glasses and a young girl walking very fast go past house house. The teenager says something and than repeats, ""You going to say something to me now, You going say something to me!' and darts off.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now off that topic here a re few more photos of my usual 2am to 5am walk, or bit earlier 12am to 5am.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now off that topic here a re few more photos of my usual 2am to 5am walk, or bit earlier 12am to 5am.
Thursday, 23 August 2012
Couple photos from last night
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
yesterday aftenoon
Wednesday, 22 August 2012
Why I am up Shits Creek in Getting any Assistance in Canada
Lets start, with, when I first had HOMOPHOBIA, HATE, HIV-PHOBIA, JEALOUSY, thrown, than pounded over my head. Sent letter to my landlord about issue in my apartment building were it was starting.
- she never responded, pick up her phone and in I never saw her again in the building. Even when i purposely got evicted, Over the three month process and not paying rent for four months did she ever come and ask me or call me for the rent.
- lived in part of town that is a "City Project" went to city hall, than Mayor David Miller's office had me banned from entering city hall for ONE YEAR.
-when I was taken into custody by the Toronto Police for Public Mischief, I was referred to by a Police woman as the faggot they tackled. (Stated to me as I sat handcuffed ion the back of the cruiser with her head stuck in through the passenger's window of the car. I was asked at 52 Division if I had any health problems, I stated HIV Positive, I was place in a holding cell with an upside down HIV ribbon draw\n on the 12 foot high wall under the security camera. First thing that came out of my mouth was, "Great an upside down AIDS Ribbon on the wall. What is this the gay cell?"
- now we have Mayor Rob Ford that has openly said HOMOPHOBIC statements. As well said the only way you can get HIV is if you are gay or an intravenous drug user. He heads up a foundation that is to help street youth!
- the Prime Minister Canada gave his support to Rob Ford during his campaign to be Mayor of Toronto.
- I live in the now passed away NDP Leader of the Opposition party (currently) Jack Layton's riding. In this part of Toronto, people openly yell white power in the open air, slurred with terms like, NIGGER, KILL the FAGGOT, AIDS Bastards, Dirty Faggot. As well they know neighbours or eavesdropping on others and openly admitting to peeping tom and watching people very very closely in their homes repeating to each other what they are doing in their homes.
CANADA you are a disgrace to the image u project to the world. A complete smoke screen to who CANADIANS really are, welcome to behind CANADIAN CURRENT. What Canada is truly.
- she never responded, pick up her phone and in I never saw her again in the building. Even when i purposely got evicted, Over the three month process and not paying rent for four months did she ever come and ask me or call me for the rent.
- lived in part of town that is a "City Project" went to city hall, than Mayor David Miller's office had me banned from entering city hall for ONE YEAR.
-when I was taken into custody by the Toronto Police for Public Mischief, I was referred to by a Police woman as the faggot they tackled. (Stated to me as I sat handcuffed ion the back of the cruiser with her head stuck in through the passenger's window of the car. I was asked at 52 Division if I had any health problems, I stated HIV Positive, I was place in a holding cell with an upside down HIV ribbon draw\n on the 12 foot high wall under the security camera. First thing that came out of my mouth was, "Great an upside down AIDS Ribbon on the wall. What is this the gay cell?"
- now we have Mayor Rob Ford that has openly said HOMOPHOBIC statements. As well said the only way you can get HIV is if you are gay or an intravenous drug user. He heads up a foundation that is to help street youth!
- the Prime Minister Canada gave his support to Rob Ford during his campaign to be Mayor of Toronto.
- I live in the now passed away NDP Leader of the Opposition party (currently) Jack Layton's riding. In this part of Toronto, people openly yell white power in the open air, slurred with terms like, NIGGER, KILL the FAGGOT, AIDS Bastards, Dirty Faggot. As well they know neighbours or eavesdropping on others and openly admitting to peeping tom and watching people very very closely in their homes repeating to each other what they are doing in their homes.
CANADA you are a disgrace to the image u project to the world. A complete smoke screen to who CANADIANS really are, welcome to behind CANADIAN CURRENT. What Canada is truly.
Monday, 20 August 2012
Just to Say..
I keep rolling over in my head that there has been no acknowledgement directly to me about this situation, as of yet. Acknowledgement...I have dragged out , though yanking, pulling and yelling at other people this is happening to or have noticed it happening, twice...but not a direct explanation of what the argument is about.
Example....friend very mad finally walks up to me in his apartment, points out the window and states. "Stop doing that to me" I respond "Me doing that to you? No! You stop doing that to me!"
Conversation end
The acknowledgement, that he can hear what is being said outside.
Now more recent type of aclmowledgement, Meeting someone in person and they refer to me as "Buddy" They appear out of no where and through actions repeat previous to me. Still no verbal words stating yes we hear and yes this is what is going on in person.
all implied not stated directly...very agitating and frustrating.
I am a very approachable, calm, understanding person. A man that acknowledges a person that tries to engage me and I makes sure the person knows I have heard what they have said.
My last three position professional all hinged on exceptional listening skills. To Listen, acknowledge, anticipate a person's need and wants though, active listening.
I hear you, Thank you for your opinion. What else is there......I hear what you have to say, I have heard your concerns, your rants, your irrational thoughts, your woes, and your dirty secrets.
You say you know me inside and out, you know me, you know what I think and anticipate my every move or what I will say......I know you as well...I may not see you, but I hear you, I hear all you have to say ladies.....and now some men. I know your dirty little secrets.
Example....friend very mad finally walks up to me in his apartment, points out the window and states. "Stop doing that to me" I respond "Me doing that to you? No! You stop doing that to me!"
Conversation end
The acknowledgement, that he can hear what is being said outside.
Now more recent type of aclmowledgement, Meeting someone in person and they refer to me as "Buddy" They appear out of no where and through actions repeat previous to me. Still no verbal words stating yes we hear and yes this is what is going on in person.
all implied not stated directly...very agitating and frustrating.
I am a very approachable, calm, understanding person. A man that acknowledges a person that tries to engage me and I makes sure the person knows I have heard what they have said.
My last three position professional all hinged on exceptional listening skills. To Listen, acknowledge, anticipate a person's need and wants though, active listening.
I hear you, Thank you for your opinion. What else is there......I hear what you have to say, I have heard your concerns, your rants, your irrational thoughts, your woes, and your dirty secrets.
You say you know me inside and out, you know me, you know what I think and anticipate my every move or what I will say......I know you as well...I may not see you, but I hear you, I hear all you have to say ladies.....and now some men. I know your dirty little secrets.
Saturday, 18 August 2012
Me this evening.....
Man, why am i not showing my face. After listening to my family today, anyone would hide their faces if they were related to them. Thank God I only see my extended family every few years and had my mother down to one or two visits a year (4 hour max)......Ladies and fat little boy (Rick) clench onto that beer, you sought little fuckhead.....You think you come here and fuck around with my life behind my back, than have the nerve to say , today why are you jealous of him look at him now.......I want blood.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Putting aside the family (blushing) I don't get embarrassed, rarely. Last time I was embarrassed, I went to get into a friends black acura, black leather seats and tinted windows. I didn't see his girlfriend and sat on her, she was black, wearing all black....but still abit of an odd first meeting, she was not happy....I think I even said, I didn't see you , you just blended into everything, you are black!.....whatever.
me as I usually look...:)
taken today!
Monday, 13 August 2012
CBC Radio at 2:58pm Today
Today I was in a cab on my way home and the CBC radio announcer states.
"Toronto has its Haters, let's remind ourselves why we love this city"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Additionally, the Vatican has charged the butler to Pope Benedict with theft. The theft is of knowledge, the leaking of information he gained inside the Vatican, regarding corruption.
My personal moments here in Toronto have been stolen, that private intimate time with another in bed, the alone mourning of a friends passing stolen and now covered with a layer of dirt, tainted by an intruder in my home. Moments that only one other should have knowledge of or experienced or no knowledge of how many tears ran down my face. The price of those moments , priceless I say, I could but a figure on them but they are worth at least a criminal charge of theft of my person.
"Toronto has its Haters, let's remind ourselves why we love this city"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Additionally, the Vatican has charged the butler to Pope Benedict with theft. The theft is of knowledge, the leaking of information he gained inside the Vatican, regarding corruption.
My personal moments here in Toronto have been stolen, that private intimate time with another in bed, the alone mourning of a friends passing stolen and now covered with a layer of dirt, tainted by an intruder in my home. Moments that only one other should have knowledge of or experienced or no knowledge of how many tears ran down my face. The price of those moments , priceless I say, I could but a figure on them but they are worth at least a criminal charge of theft of my person.
Sunday, 12 August 2012
Just thinking this Morning of who they may be.
Another Name.
Ivy T. (the daughter of my grandfather's Sister).
Now I must make you understand, that people want to destroy my relationships with everyone I know. Even family I never see or rarely see. So does this group just know my family and want to create a never passable divide between us and this is where these names pop up from. Myself accusing people I never see, from both sides of the family.
Please keep this in mind. "Is it them? or Is it not them?" I don't know and I am yelled at in Toronto all day....I am not happy today, AGAIN.
I can barely think straight anymore. I can't write, but as these people say my writing sucks and is pathetic so it doesn't matter. They want to make sure I feel that no one likes me and I am a disgusting person, so I should just end it all. As it would be easier and it better for all involved.
Strength of mind, strength of self. Understanding of what is right in this world, even if I have been lied to most of my life about people's true feelings, their jealousy, there plain hate for themselves. Which I now have to carry its burden, not themselves, relieving themselves again of any responsibility, but think they care. They are the model citizen and I am the dirt under foot, which they have the right to degrade because they life a proper life. Even if it is fueled by there own blindness. No mirrors hang in any of they homes, or maybe they would see how ugly they are or wouldn't even recognise themselves. They would most likely not take any responsibility for the way they look, they would say its the mirrors fault not mine I look like dirt.
Lies, Lies, they know me and think if everyone knows all my skeletons in my closet, everyone will be so disgusted they will over look the dirt of their lives. The crimes they committed to empty out my closet for all to hear about.
Ouch it hurts.
Lets leave that thought behind and here our a few photos of Toronto just as I was falling out of love with this city.
Ivy T. (the daughter of my grandfather's Sister).
Now I must make you understand, that people want to destroy my relationships with everyone I know. Even family I never see or rarely see. So does this group just know my family and want to create a never passable divide between us and this is where these names pop up from. Myself accusing people I never see, from both sides of the family.
Please keep this in mind. "Is it them? or Is it not them?" I don't know and I am yelled at in Toronto all day....I am not happy today, AGAIN.
I can barely think straight anymore. I can't write, but as these people say my writing sucks and is pathetic so it doesn't matter. They want to make sure I feel that no one likes me and I am a disgusting person, so I should just end it all. As it would be easier and it better for all involved.
Strength of mind, strength of self. Understanding of what is right in this world, even if I have been lied to most of my life about people's true feelings, their jealousy, there plain hate for themselves. Which I now have to carry its burden, not themselves, relieving themselves again of any responsibility, but think they care. They are the model citizen and I am the dirt under foot, which they have the right to degrade because they life a proper life. Even if it is fueled by there own blindness. No mirrors hang in any of they homes, or maybe they would see how ugly they are or wouldn't even recognise themselves. They would most likely not take any responsibility for the way they look, they would say its the mirrors fault not mine I look like dirt.
Lies, Lies, they know me and think if everyone knows all my skeletons in my closet, everyone will be so disgusted they will over look the dirt of their lives. The crimes they committed to empty out my closet for all to hear about.
Ouch it hurts.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Friday, 10 August 2012
Finally decide to trace some of those IP Address
Here you go,.....I was not in any of these communities or cities on the dates that are stated.
66.79.226.203 [Whois] [Reverse IP]
Canada
98.124.41.182 [Whois] [Reverse IP]
Canada
76.75.71.39 [Whois] [Reverse IP]
Canada
66.79.226.243 [Whois] [Reverse IP]
Canada
199.255.209.71 [Whois] [Reverse IP]
Anonymous
Proxy
76.75.71.130 [Whois] [Reverse IP]
Canada
66.79.226.173 [Whois] [Reverse IP]
Canada
NEXICOM
dyn-dsl-ld-66-79-226-173.1000island.net[Whois] [Trace
69.22.179.100 [Whois] [Reverse IP]
United
States
66.79.246.166
prescott,
ont, Lansdowne
Rural Telephone Company
66.79.226.203 [Whois] [Reverse IP]
IP
country code:
CA
IP
address country:
Canada
IP
address state:
Yukon
Territory
IP
address city:
Lansdown98.124.41.182 [Whois] [Reverse IP]
IP
country code:
CA
IP
address country:
Canada
IP
address state:
Ontario
IP
address city:
Millbrook
IP
postcode:
l0a1g076.75.71.39 [Whois] [Reverse IP]
IP
country code:
CA
IP
address country:
Canada
IP
address state:
Ontario
IP
address city:
Lansdowne
IP
postcode:
k0e1g0
IP
address latitude:
60.2667
IP
address longitude:
-134.283366.79.226.243 [Whois] [Reverse IP]
IP
country code:
CA
IP
address country:
Canada
IP
address state:
Yukon
Territory
IP
address city:
Lansdowne199.255.209.71 [Whois] [Reverse IP]
IP
country code:
A1
IP
address country:
Anonymous
Proxy
IP
address state:
n/a
IP
address city:
n/a
IP
address latitude:
0.0000
IP
address longitude:
0.0000
ISP
of this IP [?]:
AnchorFree
Organization:
WebSystemConsulting
Host
of this IP: [?]:
is199-255-209-71.anchorfree.com [Who]76.75.71.130 [Whois] [Reverse IP]
IP
country code:
CA
IP
address country:
Canada
IP
address state:
Ontario
IP
address city:
Lansdowne
IP
postcode:
k0e1g0
IP
address latitude:
60.2667
IP
address longitude:
-134.283366.79.226.173 [Whois] [Reverse IP]
IP
country code:
CA
IP
address country:
Canada
IP
address state:
Yukon
Territory
IP
address city:
Lansdowne
IP
address latitude:
60.2667
IP
address longitude:
-134.2833NEXICOM
Organization:
Lansdowne
Rural Telephone Companydyn-dsl-ld-66-79-226-173.1000island.net[Whois] [Trace
69.22.179.100 [Whois] [Reverse IP]
IP
country code:
US
IP
address country:
United
States
IP
address state:
California
IP
address city:
Torrance
IP
postcode:
90503
So what does this mean, omeone stiole my password, well maybe they are the ones that stole my email password (everyone said I was paraniod) and deleted my oldest account full of business contacts, pen pals and persoanl info. Maybe, Maybe....you are a cunt lady.
Wednesday, 8 August 2012
They want to cement something in my Mind
Its family alright, they just stated who my fourth grade teacher was........well. They came to Toronto, to find out more about me. They aligned themselves with a group, knowingly or unknowingly.
This group has had a few name changes to it here they are...
oldest to newest.
The Saint Jamestown Police.
The Pedophile Hunters.
The HIV Hunters.
currently,
The People for People Against People with HIV.
(these uncreative and talentless hacks even stole their last name title from a movie, titled Eagle Eye. Its from the scene in an electronic store when the computer talks to the two main characters.)
This group has had a few name changes to it here they are...
oldest to newest.
The Saint Jamestown Police.
The Pedophile Hunters.
The HIV Hunters.
currently,
The People for People Against People with HIV.
(these uncreative and talentless hacks even stole their last name title from a movie, titled Eagle Eye. Its from the scene in an electronic store when the computer talks to the two main characters.)
Sunday, 5 August 2012
Its August Long Weekend here...
Long Weekends are always the worst for me in Toronto. Every bum fuck is off work and as the day progresses they get more drunk or something. They yell more and more. Friday was unbearable, and I flipped out a bit a few times. Women yelling and yelling,. ....they think everyone is going to think I am crazy and hearing voices, thank God there are others responding to them now not just me....they are leaving me alone today because I have been sleeping most the day as I have pulled a groin muscle and can't really walk. Men had to say, leave him alone if you bother him when he is in pain you will look totally lack of any type of humanity and the worst of all people. A cuple deviant, defiant bitches had to be told that a few times....so mainly calm today...always tomorrow, and my recovery to look forward to.
A funny little side note about these woman. one once told me "The internet is not an appropriate place to meet men.: I asked well where is? She responded.
"The Beer Store".........................Holy fucking shit did I laugh my ass off, the beer store, I asked if that was in the returns lines or purchase line or just hanging out in the parking lot of the beer store...she told me to fuck off ...LOL, LMAO........
A funny little side note about these woman. one once told me "The internet is not an appropriate place to meet men.: I asked well where is? She responded.
"The Beer Store".........................Holy fucking shit did I laugh my ass off, the beer store, I asked if that was in the returns lines or purchase line or just hanging out in the parking lot of the beer store...she told me to fuck off ...LOL, LMAO........
Wednesday, 1 August 2012
The Rumblings
So the dislike I was expecting from most of Toronto seems to be gearing up. That is the part Toronto that pays attenntion to the yelling and screaming. Now I have to call it just a constant white snow blur over it.
A constant hum, of woman yelling at me mostly, but others as well. Obscene language and thoughts, yelled into neioghboourhoods. Gay businesses being attaccked from the outside more so when I am around. So the gay business and patrons harras me to leave. Hoping these woman yelling my name go away and they have a few less disruptions.
I Hear You,
Now fuck off.
I have heard what you want to say,
acknowledged it, those are your opinions,
Now fuck off,
go away.
why a person,
You HATE so much,
A person you loath,
their lifestyle, the way they look,
Talk and dress,
Why follow me?
What is you obsession?
....Fuck off,
I don't want to know you.....
If you hate me, why try so hard everyday, for me to acknowledge you and give you the respect I should you say
...I don't know you....
Why is my opinion and acknowledgement so important to you why is my respect so important to you...Where do you do you see me: as in relation to your peers..above it all?
Why is my respect so valuable to you?
A constant hum, of woman yelling at me mostly, but others as well. Obscene language and thoughts, yelled into neioghboourhoods. Gay businesses being attaccked from the outside more so when I am around. So the gay business and patrons harras me to leave. Hoping these woman yelling my name go away and they have a few less disruptions.
I Hear You,
Now fuck off.
I have heard what you want to say,
acknowledged it, those are your opinions,
Now fuck off,
go away.
why a person,
You HATE so much,
A person you loath,
their lifestyle, the way they look,
Talk and dress,
Why follow me?
What is you obsession?
....Fuck off,
I don't want to know you.....
If you hate me, why try so hard everyday, for me to acknowledge you and give you the respect I should you say
...I don't know you....
Why is my opinion and acknowledgement so important to you why is my respect so important to you...Where do you do you see me: as in relation to your peers..above it all?
Why is my respect so valuable to you?
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