What a wonderful evening..

Well, i decide that I would met up yet with another person online, The guy I have been chatting with and original going to hang ended up being tired from going out drinking with afriend the night before.
So I went over to see someone else. A friend had asked me a few days before if I knew him when he pointed him out to me online.
So I thought I will go meet him and I will let him know....

It took him two hours to feed his cat....anything else to say...well he had lots and lots and lots  and lots to say....addding up to mainly nothing...enlighting...not exactly....I may open my mouth at anytime and something profound will just fall out.....
If he could keep things purposely not straight in his head..I may have responded to him or after  the tenth time, I don't watch TV . .once in a blue moon, I may know the name of a show, but lets not go into..the characters and ask me if I know them..I thought iI went there for sex...three hours in I had a shirt off...anyways...as usual I looked confused, ..no just disgusted at some  "things" with nothing to say  but...in the back of my mind...you have your back up against a wall,  I am nothing you have known before or will, but old friends of mine and myself you yearn to be. We are just us each individual, we don't compare  beings...we just are us...

God another one, that think they know how it is....See you can't make me look bad because I am not asking for anyones respect, I don't want there acceptance, I need only me to survive still, I have confidence and still I sit back and let you all just ramble on ....

Maybe there might be a spelling mistake, (or something else)..to can point out these major flaws I have later...petty..
And no he is not someone my ex knew named Chris, he had a mol on his face

When I got to the building fire trucks there someone stuck in elevator so I walked 22 floors up to him. At first could not make eye contact for an hour, I never took mine off him. He seemed nice, until....can I just say until...

just move



as per usual, I didn't get hard, but hey, chatter chatter,chatter..and at the end was he thought he would be having sex not have the conversation we are now....please that is exactly what you wanted, sitting on the other side of the room and two feet away on the couch...

I know why I do and go the places I do...My favorite line.."special privileges I have"  wink wink

Sunday Night at 2am in Toronto

I was just leaving a friend's place on Richmond St just before Jarvis. I had locked my bike up on the city provided bike locks, in front of the Goodwill drop off depot.
Someone stole my bike, minus the bike seat which I had taken inside with me. I have lived in Toronto for about 15 years and never had my bike stolen.
I guess there is a first time for everything. No longer mobile, till I find a new one.

i was pissed, throw my ice cream sandwich right down and it was a Klondike for goodness sake.

Emails to the Prime Minister of Canada

I have been emailing the Office of the Prime Minister of Canada, Mr. Stephan Harper for about two to three years. His office has responded to me about 3 or 4 times. I would like to thank his office in responding to some of my emails.
My emails I have sent to him range from Ideas on improving Healthcare System in Canada, The altering of the language requirement to be considered for the position of Governor General in Canada, issues I see with the Legalization of Medical Marihuana etc.

As well, I hope his office does have a sense of humor, my favorite email, which he has not responded to yet is,

Mr. Prime Minister, What color is your underwear, I heard its pink with a little bit of lace on it, or will it be shit brown when you find out who the biggest homophobe is in Toronto. Not You!

I still wonder what color his underwear is, he must wear them you have to under a suit, I know I use to wear one everyday to the office.

Quantum Pyshics

I would like to thank you all for your time,

34:00 to 38:00 Minutes into the film, "What the Bleep Down the Rabbit Hole". I would like you all to watch this section of this film.

Why?

It discuses quantum psychics, and how matter moves and acts as it moves from on place to another.

The basic idea is that matter moves in a specific way, in a direct pattern and it can also act in a disturbance pattern.

When the matter is left on its own to travel, it acts in a disturbance pattern. When the matter is being watched or measured it acts in a direct pattern. The scientist concluded that the matter acted different because it knew somehow it was being watched or measured.

If we place this idea about pieces of matter to the human mind or body, it would make us believe that people that know or believe they are being watched do not act in their inherit way. Even if they do not know they are being watched at that time, if they believe they may be being watched they will unknowing or knowing act in a different manner.

The idea I am thinking of here is the idea that not that many people pay attention to all these security cameras and they do not know where they all are in the city. Some security cameras are placed behind mirrors, in vents or out of sight so people will not know they are being watched. 

People have a sense of when they are being watched and when they are not, it is an inherit aspect left in us from the flight or fight mindset, left over from when we had predators hunting us. If we place this idea of an inherit sense that we may be being watched, we as a society or not acting as we should and are altering are movements and actions based on a sub-level.

People when they believe they are being watched or know they are being watched, move in a direct pattern. The disturbance pattern shows an interaction and a relation before and after the moment of being watched or measured. Thus people are not interacting as they would while they know they are being watched or before the fact even happens as they perceiving of the moment before it actually takes place.

People everyday based on this idea, are not being themselves. Their behavior and interactions are being manipulated, by an unseen source. Most do not even know that they have altered their movements or interactions with each other on a daily basis.

Destiny, a rewrite of the Dec 28/08 4:44pm on left on a wall.

As i sit here, I wonder,

I am.

Wondering,

What happened to you all,

in the past

that has brought you to,

this place,

me,

and my past

where we sit not,

face to face,

but,

ear to ear.

I hear, you

You, See me.

Destiny,

guides us down a route.

We have come to a crossroads,

Nobody and I

Where do we go?

Nobody, can be the winner.

Only one side,

has a name,

has understanding

Where we have locked horns.

Fighting.

You want to be a reminder,

of who.

You wanted to be,

Who,

I have become,

at this time and place,

Locked in a battle,

Fighting,

I alone want to

Create.

You want to,

H.U.R,T

Will be my reminder,

Why we fight,

day after day.

You inflicted,

H.A.T.E

With your voice

Reason, not necessary,

Never ending

H.U.R.T

unnecessary,

all you appreciate.

I now have an understanding

of

H.A.T.E

You wanted to burn

my face,

as a reminder

to me of your

disgrace.

For wasting your life.

Disguised as something bigger,

than just your own personal,

H.A.T.E

for yourself,

for nobody.

but you who,

H.urt

are 

U.nkown

I represent the people

that,

R.espect

and

T.rust

and from your selfish

need to be heard,

H.U.R.T

alone in the dark,

discarded by the world's

apathy,

turning away from ones,

that never had to have had

experienced

H.A.T.E

day after day

by the voice of someone,

they've never

met.

H.A.T.E

creates

H.U.R.T

H.U.R.T

creates

H.A.T.E

No one deserves,

to reside under this veil

hidden from the world

H.U.R.T.I.N.G

I am left with a new destiny,

to H.U.N.T you down,

the ones that truly

H.U.R.T

than we can help the ones,

that have been touched by (so personally)

personal circumstance,

that has branded you

by you

left behind, 

left alone,

Nobody,

says anymore to me

but

you say you were a friend of mine,

yesterday.

You should not be that hard,

to find,

If you say you truly were a friend,

of mine.

but you hide,

play a game,

not playing your part in 

life,

this is why you 

H.A.T.E

yourself

you feet left out, 

from rest of the world

life.

So now you trying to 

H.U.R.T

everyone else,.

I want you to explain,

P.A.I.N

the feeling I know so well

that you cherish,

to me.

Maybe, you will believe,

I care what you are feeling.

I just want you to stop.

H.U.R.T.I.N.G

me.

I Believe.

You can not see,

what you have done to me.

Sacrifice

Dedication,

Commitment,

Sacrifice

It needs to see clarity

clear the mind

My friend, I have lost?

have I lost them all?

or did they loose their ways

as well?

So many crossroads,

We got lost,

which direction to to turn?

Lost.

I can't wait to meet them again.

We will decide together if its

Heaven or Hell

Together linked arm and arm.

I hope they will think the sacrifice

was worth it all.

Only so many days together,

counting the days lost.

The earth never stands still

nor do I

Who can keep up?

I can never stop looking,

over my shoulder

forever.

I see,

I remember feeling our eyes meet

I will meet them again,

I think.

The end seemed near,

the walls stopped

talking,

They starting watching me,

that was load and clear,

leave here?

laughed and mocked

What I treasured the most, was

silence,

home

my own,

life,

just disappeared,

drowned out by that laughing and mocking

of theirs.

Death was a thought,

to me, by them

than life

snapped back.

Only to have death presented

At the end

An outreached

arm

knuckles bloodied

uneducated

+

Hell

Few, but thoughtful of what they wanted

faceless horror

eyes open wide.

by the fear of being known

being seen themselves,

for their mindless actions

Appeared clearer than the sun

drenched in their shame

worshipped by others

With their minds exposed

The hair scalped back,

to show,

the undeveloped mind.

the horror,

their fear,

of their blood,

they're the parasites, on the door knob,

ready to enter, ready to lie.

Just staring 

Why?

Trapped in their own

home,

life and mind.

looking through the window

strangling  life

out of the stranger,

creating struggle

to steal another's life.

hiding their shame and lust

of the flesh,

stoned to death by themselves.

murder the intruder,

murdered themselves

all the others just followed

as they threw themselves

down  the stairs.

And into their own,

Personal Hell

it doesn't matter

I have seen both sides of the wall.

Back in Toronto,

It started off a bit wierd, the ladies were gone, and men asking what had happenned out there in Kingston. Where were the ladies,
they came back,
Man there is a roar going on here, people just won't shut the fuck up, my name yelled and screamed, its creating tension, with my friends and roommates.
No one talks about it,
But these woman will bury Toronto into the dust, no longer a world class city.

Thanks

I would just like to say a thank-you to everyone that has hit my blog since I started. Thanks goes out those in England, Germany, United States and Canada.

Thanks again, hope you will keep checking in....

junior

Morning from Outside of Kingston

Well, Just getting up, waiting for friend to make me some coffee, after wek still don't know how Krups coffee thing works...LOL....at least I have a smoke to tide me over.
Now I have to get ready to return to that city of hell, Toronto. I know now  I am going to have to move from that place. I got some writing done at least, on the "Fall of Love"; got the opening worked on just before I let Toronto and  out here got a few more pages done. So, all in all this week has been productive on more than just my writing front, as well.
The battle to settle my mind I have started to win. The healing process? Will still have to wait, till I have the privacy to write down all that has happenned to me and others over these last few years. I hope that will help, not just me, hell I am sick of thinking of others, as few think of me. It is all about me today, again. Why? you need a backbone to stand beside me.

junior

My two Favorite YOUTUBE videos...LOL

Oh so quite this morning

This is something new to me, it is so quite this morning around me. Woman are at a very far distance, thank goodness. That female energy, can just drain you of all creative jucies, when the woman is on a constant crimson wave. (ref; clueless)

its woman again

So after a week hanging at a friend's house out on a lake in a small ton named Landsdowne. There are still a couple woman out there yippin off. There are people getting annoyed and I am stayig on my course of action to wait for someone to get intereted in who has the HATE in them.
I know the woman are from from Toronto, as they say they are and are using the same old trick, that they are police and people here are lke me, "fuck you" is the responce. Am I in a place where apathy does not reign supreme? I still don't know. I will have to wait ad see, my mother once told me patience is a virtue. I hope it pays off waiting for people to get involved in what goes on outside their personal bubbles, those little worlds made so small from that so called device named a smartphone. Does it make us closer to what lurks out there or just isolate us more from listening to what can hurt us all.

Today by the Lake

Got some sun, and waiting to hear, emailed Ottawa yesterday, to let them know how it is out here. I dread going back to Toronto, at least out here my harassers are kept at a distance. I can at least turn up the stereo or TV watching on the laptop to distract my ear.

Be back in the City of Toronto at some point, for how long who knows, before I go settle my mind some place else.

Outside of Kingston Today

So the horrors of Toronto, lurk not so close, but still close enough if i strain myself to listen. They lurk so far away, but not right next door. Did it follow me or was it here already.
It is silent most of the time, but it you wait the sound of HATE lurks out there still.
I wait and hope apathy doesn't exist everywhere in this country. How far will I have to go till someone stops and says, who the hell does this to someone they don't know. Gang mentality, gang up on the unknown, lets just join in on the chant kill them all, they need to go.
Go where, I ask, if I leave the place you found me and ask me to leave. So why did and you need to follow me?

NOT in TORONTO

Snap, snap, snap, snap, snap, snap, snap, snap, snap, snap,snap, snap,snap, snap, snap, snap, snap, snap



that is snap 18 times

this is posted for one, this morning.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

yesterday,

Joseph "Equailty" ............I was in our city for 15 mins yesterday, just passing through......

My Canada Day in Toronto

So Canada Day in Toronto, a land where all are suppose to come and be welcome. A place where we are suppose to be for people to live FREE and PROUD, no matter our differences.

A friend and I sneered at as week walk past a young couple with child, on that same evening followed by a young man in light blue shorts and blond hair to a friends place. I left one minute later after stating outside before going I had to go to a specific corner store.
On that walk to the corner, a woman stated "last night is the last poke you will get"  a few seconds later another woman stats "get your bum out of the air" and as I left the corner store a man glared and spit at me.


Thank-you Canada and everyone in my area of Toronto to showing what Canadians are really like.