I have been away from my computer for awhile. Nothing big enough has happened to mention here yet. Lots of smaller but big or small they are the same.
I again distracted into agitation by being distracted so much I can't get done what i want done. Just another day taken out of life no big deal.
Monday, 16 April 2012
Friday, 6 April 2012
Last Night
So I got to talk really for the first time to someone about whats has and is happening to me. A new friend of a few week had me over to hang for a bit. We started to talk and it led to me opening up a bit, but since it was first time with someone genuinely listening and trying to understand, I had a hard time keeping everything make sense.
He knew I wanted this situation acknowledged, I haven't spoken to him about that as I cab remember, He said and gesturing outside. "Ok, I acknowledge that, you wanted it acknowledged I am acknowledging it now what.?"
I am tired so lets get to it, My friend tried to push the saying "God granted me the serenity to change the things I have and the something or something to know the difference between the things I can change and the things I can't.......You have to realize there are somethings you can't change."
My respond "NO! I can change everything and anything:"
He stated, "I am not strong enough to take on a fight like that right now"
My response. "Well I am, and i AM FOUR YEARS INTO IT, AND CLOSE."
He like the others still haven't acknowledged it, They won't say what they are supposedly acknowledging"
Thank you "G" for having that talk with me...I am not going to say anymore about our private conversation made behind closed doors and windows.
It helped a bit, but it saddened me again as I lost everything,
I am,
I will succeed, not for myself anymore, it as Me, Me, Me......Everyone is three steps behind me and a few others, and I get agitated when speaking about this, as they can't accept how I feel about it. Belleville what I say I have done to get past thing "THING< we can't speak of in Toronto". I am calm over the losses of my life from these woman.
I truly worry about the ones out in the city that are unseen, do not have a voice, and are in mental distress. Based entirly on environmental influences, bad in woman thinking it is funny to play mind tricks on people.
Still I have to try to get it into people's minds.....I lost my life, taken away by jealous, greedy eyes peeping into my most personal spaces, ante only for me and sometime one other person. Priceless are those moments stolen from me by them.
The constant try to derail me from achieving , from healing, from evolving intellectually, my mind studders sometimes now.
I am told again and again, people missed it because it wasn't about them, You need to help yourself, before you can help anyone else. I battle, I have helped myself, I am fine, Its is unbelievable the little concern most Toronto residents have for the well fair of others. They say I can't help them before I help myself. Well when the hell of all you people going to do what you need to help yourself, Its seems like no one does help themselves so they don't need to help others...Again I am the odd one out here...great
There is so much more, but I am tired and Iv decided I am going out again I have to get ready....Post more soon
Again "G" thanks for the chat, truly appreciated
He knew I wanted this situation acknowledged, I haven't spoken to him about that as I cab remember, He said and gesturing outside. "Ok, I acknowledge that, you wanted it acknowledged I am acknowledging it now what.?"
I am tired so lets get to it, My friend tried to push the saying "God granted me the serenity to change the things I have and the something or something to know the difference between the things I can change and the things I can't.......You have to realize there are somethings you can't change."
My respond "NO! I can change everything and anything:"
He stated, "I am not strong enough to take on a fight like that right now"
My response. "Well I am, and i AM FOUR YEARS INTO IT, AND CLOSE."
He like the others still haven't acknowledged it, They won't say what they are supposedly acknowledging"
Thank you "G" for having that talk with me...I am not going to say anymore about our private conversation made behind closed doors and windows.
It helped a bit, but it saddened me again as I lost everything,
I am,
I will succeed, not for myself anymore, it as Me, Me, Me......Everyone is three steps behind me and a few others, and I get agitated when speaking about this, as they can't accept how I feel about it. Belleville what I say I have done to get past thing "THING< we can't speak of in Toronto". I am calm over the losses of my life from these woman.
I truly worry about the ones out in the city that are unseen, do not have a voice, and are in mental distress. Based entirly on environmental influences, bad in woman thinking it is funny to play mind tricks on people.
Still I have to try to get it into people's minds.....I lost my life, taken away by jealous, greedy eyes peeping into my most personal spaces, ante only for me and sometime one other person. Priceless are those moments stolen from me by them.
The constant try to derail me from achieving , from healing, from evolving intellectually, my mind studders sometimes now.
I am told again and again, people missed it because it wasn't about them, You need to help yourself, before you can help anyone else. I battle, I have helped myself, I am fine, Its is unbelievable the little concern most Toronto residents have for the well fair of others. They say I can't help them before I help myself. Well when the hell of all you people going to do what you need to help yourself, Its seems like no one does help themselves so they don't need to help others...Again I am the odd one out here...great
There is so much more, but I am tired and Iv decided I am going out again I have to get ready....Post more soon
Again "G" thanks for the chat, truly appreciated
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