Now that there is part of BloodSICK posted what else am i working on

BloodSICk - Caution, A Psychopath and a Gaggle of Boys and Girls is to be a play

as well I am working on 3 other plays

I Believe - a look into a dark place

Fall of Love - based on Catholic faith - a love story partially, Blindfaith, the want to understand, what happens when you don't give your love to someone. from that what you can will into existence when love isn't given.

Empire of Dirt  - group of friends with to much time to waste a idea that turns them into something they didn't see coming except one. He leads them blindly, into something knowing what the end is from the start.

Two other scripts

Madness that is Me....I posted some of it, it has changed totally from that....gay comedy, based on friends from my twenties, when we lived and went out continuously...made up of true stories and some embellished, other just what I think happened or should have happened.

Behind the Fence - Comedy.. Two cousins both named Jay that could be step brothers, their mothers are identical twins, but they don't know there fathers identities. They are on the hunt to find out if they are more than just cousins and have the same father to make them brothers. Their best friend is an over weight woman named Susie she good be their step sister she doesn't know who her father is, but she doesn't care.

H.U.R.T - co-dependent hateful relationships. Based on "Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolf - German Opera - Thomas Crown Affair.......Four Characters, 2 female (sisters) 2 men intertwined.....a love triangle,  takes place almost completely in one apartment.
Stars with four, than becomes three, than four again. than only two left only one ends up understanding.

will anyone see any of this, is a just rambling, no its better than watching television, I write think, understand so much of what is myself.

--------------

my newest thought....is titled "A Natural Speed Freak, In Search of A Valium"

Before Yesterday

                                                      

 The Blue Devil

This is from 2008, when i started to come forward about my situation.

I posted this around Toronto, and mailed it to people inside of Toronto and across Canada.  At the bottom of this first letter I have left out a small section, before it included the address of where this took place the the telephone number of the management.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THIS IS WHAT SAINT JAMESTOWN THINKS OF MYSELF AND GAY MEN.  I HAVE HAD A YELLOW CAUTION TAPE TIED TO MY APARTMENT DOOR KNOB. THIS IS TO TELL PEOPLE IN BUILDING I AM HIV POSITIVE, AND NOT TO ENTER MY APARTMENT OR THEY WILL BE INFECTED WITH THE VIRUS.

To all Toronto,

    I have contacted ACTUP New York, ACTUP San Francisco for their opinion on the below concern.

    I am sending you this letter in regards to my concern of SARS Legislation. The reason for my interest, for the last year I have been called a disease carrying faggot by my neighbors, who really like the Morality Act in the USA. The Morality Act (Canadian equivalent – SARS legislation) discussing about the quarantine of people with contagious diseases, both the previous legislations have HIV mentioned in the documents.

    My neighbors agree that I should be quarantined or forcibly confined to my apt so I do not spread the virus. I have tried to get my story out in numerous ways, at all times with no prevail.

.

    I have been told by them that they will slit my throat while I sleep, or shoot me in the head. If do leave my apartment they will go after my friends, as well. I am lying in my apartment as they continue to harass me and ask how, I contracted HIV from and who I have slept with so they can make sure I do not spread the virus. They continue to threaten to call or contact my relatives to inform them of my HIV status and state that they will harass anyone that works with me or has contact with me. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Since than the other ways they have threatened to kill me if i continue to contact police or bring attention to them have included.

"I want to stick you like the pig you are and watch you bleed out. That would make me happy"

"I will have you run over, by someone"

"We will have a hit put on your head"

"I will have you beaten up by one of our boyfriends"

"I want to throw acid in your face, so no one will ever want to look at you"

The insults yelled out include,

Kill all the AIDS BASTARDS.

You are an AIDS BASTARD.

AIDS face.

You are stating to look like on of those pot bellied AIDS Bastards.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am disgusted with this COUNTRY

 Since the first HIV non-disclosure prosecution in 1989, there have been over 120 prosecutions.  A high pro- 

portion of accused has either pleaded guilty to, or been convicted at trial, of serious criminal offences, often resulting in harsh sentences and sex offender registration. In the majority of convictions, there was NO TRANSMISSION of HIV to the complainant.

The law states that you only have disclouse your STATUS if you are having HIGH RISK SEX. This includes vaginal or anal unprotected sex, only.

Many people ask what is the crime the TRANSMISSION of HIV or is it just touching someone that is positive. In Canada if you are HIV positive its a crime to be touched by another person without telling first you are HIV positive. I guess the HIV population needs to have a scarlet letter tattooed onto their faces.

I love my country.....its just been a few hard years.....hard years looking for answers, have blame heaped on my shoulders....not looking for any people to say..thats terrible you ok...i just want .......i will get back to you on that thought..


stand tall and forward...:)

A Lie, to Yourself

I don't have pity for people,

I don't have sympathy for people,

I just look don't my nose at you spineless, weak people.

You already hate yourself,

I do not.

You already want to be dead and forgotten.

For you and everyone,

Around u can forget. All the mistakes that you have made

Today or yesterday, your entire lives.

I don't regret my decisions.

I understood, why I did

The things in my life,

Never will I lie, why; I have done something to myself, in this life.

Lie, to yourself,

That lie won't ever die,

You will carry it for the rest of your life,

Nothing is worst than a lie.

That lies at your side, in your own bed, every night,

One you uttered to yourself and no one else.

It will eat away,

At your mind

Your own thoughts of yourself,

Your ability,

To see clearly,

Day after day it will be harder to carry

Its weight.

You will be buried under, a lie

Only to yourself, by yourself, to no one else

The lie,

Could have pushed you to newer heights,

You just had to think,

Why

Am I saying this,

Lie

Understand why,

You deceive yourself

You won't have to lie to yourself

And say,

I don't know why I did that,

I don't, know I just did that,

Again

Push yourself and answer the question,

Why, you did what you did.

To yourself, no one else.

Deep down inside, it is there

Not hidden, just not realized

We all know why we do what we do

Don't hate yourself,

For misunderstanding yourself,

By hiding behind your walls

There is always enough time to learn,

And understand

Yourself.

And learn not to lie

Lie to me all you want,

I pity you, who lie only to

Yourself.

Thank You all for viewing and continuing to check out my Blog

Canada  414

United States 42

Russia  14

Germany  13

Brazil  4

Argentina 2

Belgium  2

Austria  1

United Kingdom 1

Why I Beleive the Police won't help in this Harrassment and Spying of Personal Life

All in point form, I am sick and tired or going over this in my head.

When arrested in 2008, one of the arresting female officers after I was in the back seat handcuffed. Stuck her head in the passenger seat window of the front of the car and looked at me and stated.

"We taggled the FAGGIT"

I was in the police car and the two officers gavwe me false names, Officer Montgomery and Officer Coffee.
I was than began to be read my rights, I was told I could have three lawyers, I said I don't understand what you are talking about and they just laughed and stopped talking.

At 51 Division, after I told them I was HIV Positive, after they asked if I had any health Conditions I was placerd ina drunk tank cell with and upside down AIDS ribbon drawen on thwe wall just below the camera in the corner of the cell.

Months after I went to jail, went to trail, pleaded guilty for public mischeif. I was called by 51 Division and threatened with a warrent for my arrest if I did not come down there immediadiatly. After I got there an Officer Chewlou, told me I had never been to 51 division, never towest end detentioon center or to trail. I was lying about the whole thing and I was going to be arrested onthe spot and taken into custody. I told him the officers names in the police car and her stated there are no officwers at 51 division with that name.

They harrass as badly as these woman do to me.

Informing clinic patients was left to Ottawa public health - CTV News#.Tp7z7yBG1v4.facebook#.Tp7z7yBG1v4.facebook#.Tp7z7yBG1v4.facebook#.Tp7z7yBG1v4.facebook

Informing clinic patients was left to Ottawa public health - CTV News#.Tp7z7yBG1v4.facebook#.Tp7z7yBG1v4.facebook#.Tp7z7yBG1v4.facebook#.Tp7z7yBG1v4.facebook

Beginning of "BloodSICK - Caution (A Psychopath and a Gaggle of Boys and Girls)

BloodSICK - the psychopath and a gaggle of boys and girls

BloodSICK, A Psychopath and a Gaggle of Boys and Girls

BEGINNING

Kate Bush....Prelude and Prologue (Album AERIAL)

You'll all go crazy, You'll all go crazy

2:33 time

3:04 time

rewrite of words

like the light of eternity,

lost its magic now.

(three woman speaking)

She doesn't know if she has it.

You were suppose to keep your mouth shut about her.

She doesn't know..., why are you talking about her.

But, I am starting to worry, not about her but what she is doing,

how it will affect me.

You mean us?

No me, I'm not sure if I should have said something,

now it might be to late, I think I might be in shit.

You weren't suppose to tell anyone,

Just stop talking about her.

Its not a crime,

you pigs.....you pigs.......its all their fault

leave her alone,

let be over there

I won't give you her name, she's doesn't know if she got it

its not her fault.

They lie, everyone lies, I know, I know,

she doesn't know - a thing

No, I know more than you think, she's fucked  if she has it or not.

She's pissing off the wrong ones,

What?

she only knows that someone she slept with before came up positive, before.

How does she know that, how do we know that, There it is .... how do we answer that question

Lies?

Oh, fuck you, lies, lies.....that's what has us standing here

you pigs, its all your fault,

look, look, pigs, pigs

Will you stop saying that,

who are you yelling at?

oink, oink, oink, oink

Fucking stop it,

smell my shit!   ( is not in the least shy, self-conscious, or afraid to say anything)

What?

you are nuts bitch.

(Words do not seem to have the same meaning for them as they do for us.

even grasp the meaning of their own words)

whoa ass mee

i have to, go, to, jail

whoa ass mee

nobody, likes, me

whoa ass mee

my mother hates me,

Whoa as mee

You are way ahead of yourself.....over there

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The cycle encircles her.....the moon rotates the earth, like the vampire she wants to share,

share her soul,

share the unknown?

her blood,

She doesn't have that much sex,

only once a month.

She evolves from which is which to explain its path.a criminal, a psychopath,  which is which in this world.

does either deserve our time, or will time be all that is needed to cure the demented mind. Is it a disguise, to not have blame placed on her.

I don't remember what I did last night, thats dementia isn't it, a lapse of mind.

My actions don't need a reaction, because I don't know what I did, remember I have lost my mind,

inside of the dementia (demented) mind lapse.

through her demented mind,

her crime leaves her unknown,

she needs to be seen and heard,

have herself explained, by her actions,

thoughts heard,

attach her name,

attach her genes

she doesn't think she needs to explain.

anything,

to anyone,

Not even herself,

She playing Blind?

What she does,

She is envious, of ones life.

of someone....

She slowly unzips, looking so innocent.

bleed, and then cast him aside   turn to another to exploit, their          pleasure in the misfortune of others            

be gentle, I am new at this.          unquenchable.

the devil tail between her legs

sharp ended,

to insure the transfer,

They are on to her,

and evil ways,

she pokes a hole,                                through the eye

She needs to now protect her prey,    trying to "get back" at society and the world, in order to gain retribution

minimize the risk, there is not much semen flowing in a jail cell,

she needs to keep the flow constant, PROMISCUOUS SEXUAL BEHAVIOR --

Lower the risk, disappears the crime

in her mind. but her actions have made her deceit

high risk crime

she hates the pigs,

but she needs them to slop at the trough   lack of love,

to insure a good litter.

and positive transfer

egg combine sperm, transfer.

is successful

single celled live has start

its way.

its life has its ending, to her

------------------------------------------------------------------

Squeal like the piggies you are,

Have you ever seen a sow drop a litter,

into the mud?

Wash them clean, if you can.

Are they able to escape the dirty past of the mother? (Mudda)

Will they remain at her side,

to protect their criminal mother

or be her betrayal,

not a legacy.

Lets watch the story unfold.

Lets see my little piglets, (piggies)

what do,

you have for me - let me hear

what you want - do you want to

live?

See to have - to loose - to win,

which is which in this litter thats to come?

You have done something maybe you should have!

You dirty little girl.

Not sure.                               (if he's from a low socioeconomic class), that he dislikes rich people intensely

Don't tell me what is right from wrong.

You don't know the differences

The brotherhood and sisterhood 

We are here to help,

I have created my own family, brothers and sisters.

I am their Mother, I will show them, raise them,

I will, I will, you're loosing it girl .... they will be successful, because of me.

You'll see...    identify himself as a revolutionary.

You are -

 I am

You are in,

Sin

What,

You are all alone, remember that

We are here, wanting to help. protecting her

Lost mine,

don't remind me, why she going through with this?

and I

My mind tells me I am,

right,

wrong,  maybe just indifferent of what your mind thinks and wants.

Do you feel level headed....you did just say you lost your......don't talk about it...i was just going to say your mind.

Does your mind tell you or does it speak to you?

Lost mine, you are an evil bitch to try to play word games or just imply....mine mind none of us are suppose to be talking right now. (about this)

I asked once before, about the voices,

They are the voices of my children,

They cannot speak for themselves and you are not understanding,

Our voices of concern,

Its to late for them, that concern, I am free of you and your thinking I have done something wrong?

You are  free of a sane mind,

Of Sanity,

you can still help them be born healthy, why wouldn't they...why didn't you tell me that

if not you are,

a,

Loveless bitch, cuntified

Where that come from I'm fine....not like her, listen....I don't hear anything

Bleeding now, just sorrow your pain., feeling sorry for yourself.

dragging everything from inside of you ,

out into the world,

not caring about anyone, not even yourself,

Lies, the liars,?

That's why we're here.

Who laid with you to create your misdeeds?

Since when is going to bed with someone a crime, that sounds a bit more like guilt, you still can't look at yourself down there without blushing. You're feeling guilty.

Not these children to come but create this broken mind you are cultivating, with no thought,

do you even remember what happened yesterday?

Unable to see clearly past this time, or into the past

What

that will pass,

it just takes sometime

Don't have yourself locked away in jail cell for all time,

Because of a momentary lapse of mind,

Think,

Fuck you, are you a pig!aren't you  oink, oink, oink,   They are usually fast-talkers,

Why does she keep doing that?

She's trying to distract us, from her behind, her past......

I have to say it is an big fat ass.

The dead, the buried,

Buried in the her mind, her forgotten actions

The heartless cannot hide behind this

pretending to have lost there mind.

i've lost mine

 the psychopath will turn on the victim and claim that the victim suffers from "delusions" and is not mentally stable.

16. FAILURE TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR OWN ACTIONS -- a failure to accept responsibility for one's actions reflected in low conscientiousness, an absence of dutifulness, antagonistic manipulation, denial of responsibility, and an effort to manipulate others through this denial.

Uneducated fear, uneducated thoughts of what they have done, leading each other down a path for each others guilt of what they have become

but no one knows but the three of them so far. Playing their hate for themselves on each other's life and minds

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

there are two men speaking now.

Caution (the psychopath and his gaggle of boys and girls) 

and girls

Dementia,

Dementia, dementia

Its in your mind

Your mind

Your mind

Mine

And your mine,

It’s the HIV,

HIV

HIV

Its in your mind,

The dementia is eating at your mind,

And your mine,

Say thank-you for the HIV

Its yours, its mine,

Its in your mind,

The dementia is in your mind,

Its in your veins, its in your mind

And your mine, its yours, its mine,

Its everywhere,

In the mind

Dementia

Is eating at your mind,

The mind, yes the mind,

Do you mind?

No I wanted the HIV, in the mind

Your mind? Its from your veins, its from your,

Mine.

Who gave you the HIV?

No from the mind

To the veins,

To the brothers

The sisters

Of the mind,

Yes you’re one of us,

We will take care of you,

The brothers and sisters combined.

In dementia

The dementia

We are your blood brothers and sisters,

Family

Not in the mind

On the street

In the bedroom,

Your mine, forever

And always in my mind,

You will be taken care of by us,

Don’t share it till

We say you are fine,

Confide in us what happened to all of us.

The dementia has to settle, in your mind,

Then you won’t mind,

To spread your gift back to my mind.

Of why we have all been affected by this HIV Strain

of the mind.

Whoa, where did that come from.....What the hell you talking about?

Where it came into our lives?

Why we have to hide,

Why he lied?

Now you, all just wants us to cry ourself to death, left asking.

Why?

------------------------------------------------

Hide it ,if you can

the effect,

your idenitiy.

the scars, left by them,  the virus, the bugs crawling in the sheets

when you are on the street, look both ways before you cross

may it be mid day, or your usual

late night thing

the streets may become your enemy,

they won't be as welcoming

when......they stare

at you as you are approaching them,

They will either take a step away or cross the street

Or take a swing your face.

black, and shiny

my eye hurts

it glares at me

the night, what I once loved

now lurks on every corner

the streets where

so pretty

so welcoming

now, so cold and uninviting

you look down one alley

look down another lane

up the boulvard,

and across the way

nothing,

your nothing

the reflection you once loved

now fades into your memory,

memories are

slipping away

but what you long for

look for inside and out

my life

the lie, is just a lie

but it won't go away,

its affected every portion of my so called life

they listen, and think we live 30 years

into yesterday

life, exists, all at once

inside and out

the lie, cannot kill us

we survived worse

but they can smother, us,

one by one,

the responsible ones.

that trusted,

and now understand what trusting has done.

we still trust,

only ourselves.

not us,

but,

why am I even having to write this,

have you listen, to what is, all this.

Yours lies and misunderstanding of us.

Look around, no look at yourself,

We and I are not criminals,

we did what our country asked of us to do,

now we are attacked by people that won't even

go get tested themselves.

we were and are the responsible

ones.

(woman from audience starts to engage person on stage)

You are responsible for all this....its your fault.....we are getting it now.

Do you even know?  or You to scared to go as well

If you are not tested you may be a criminal,

We are responsible people,  we are thinking about others, not just ourselves and went to find out, if we had it ourselves..

It wouldn't even be out there if you were normal. You were just a faggot now you are even worse,

You little disease carrying faggot.

Its now thirty years later, lady, way past the time pointing a finger,

Maybe we are just thirty years ahead of you in understanding the fear, and educating that its out there,

not just maybe a run to the abortionist and problem all gone or pasted on for adoption.

well,

is that all you have to say is Well, I will finish that for you. "Well maybe you're right"

Oh fuck off,

Oh that's right, here comes the attack, from someone who knows they are wrong

not everything can be fixed with a pill or a coat hanger, we understand there is a bigger risk,

no way to just make it disappear like magic and back to regular life.

Now should I go back and finish all this, or you can just get up and leave,

but let me tell you this,

you are the feared ones out there,

now

we know , we disclouse, we remember there is more risk than just a pregnancy.

if you have had unprotected sex, you may be

let me whisper it, so it won't hurt your ears,

not pregnant but  HIV.....never been tested....you  may be criminal

in my mind....I shouldn't even have to write this,

it past the time while some of you talked behind my back and harassed my ass.

because I still have my head held high, my ass gets used,

and oh my god, I even cum sometimes still

you, you

now back trying to get people to understand....

what I do doesn't effect you.

Yes it does, because of you we can't do what we want to do,

do you ask, or just use a condom, everything solved pretty easy

No, I don't like condoms, and I don't trust what the other person says.

This is my fault, you don't trust, and you can't have sex the way you want, do you have sex...

yes....

its not for you to know about me,

unless i get in your pants.....high risk only,

pamphlets at the door for when you leave,

listen to you, you go bare, you don't trust your partners, honesty I don't, but you are still out there fucking regularly....having him cum inside of you, do you not bleed regularly, is that how you avoid pregnancy, Oh boys, I'd watch out for this dirty little one.

How do you face yourself....is that why your yelling at me, i have never touched pussy,

so all your irresponsibility and mistrust has nothing to do with me or us.

thanks for listening..not understanding.....let them go on with this I guess they call it an act, I

hate theatre, not my favorite medium

you lady, make my life miserable, because you don't understand us, we interact, gay is very different than straight.

first....woman ruled with emotion, and thought clouded by this, and you are just trying to help others, when never asked, thinking there's is something not right and you can teach them and help them. Us abnormal ones

We've been doing fine and damn happy almost always without woman,

You say we so gay, happy all the time, not taking things seriously, no we just don't have woman, dragging us down, and complaining, that we are not...sorry//////// you know what straight boys we feel sorry for you, you think we yearn for you, no those are looks are    of pity.....we feel sorry for you, not being what you want to be, happy.......now have a fun walk home with woman.

lost love

lost worlds

lost memories

just being lost,

not worrying, where you where,

where you are,

where you were going

come, go

came from heaven

went to hell,

landed somewhere close to both

warmed from above, and

warmed from below

life,

love

all in time.

not now,

its not allowed

----------------------------

Do you hear it in your mind yet?

What? Is it strained?

The strain of all this

Yes the voice of the strain, it strains the mind.

Has it settled in the mind.

It will in yours with the help

Of us,

Oh shut up with this shit, I am fine with it

go find someone else.

You will,

You infected him

Find, a way to destroy someone's life

To see it for what it is

To feel it, the strain you have inflected on some else?

In the body and the mind.

We are here to show you, the way

The strain of what is to come

The way back to the body

To see the flesh again, to admire it

not From a far,

To touch it again.

I am not ashamed, I got fucked last night

you have the wrong man. For that speech, How old are you,? How long have you had it, the HIFF

Its, ok to feel the strain, of the mind.

It plays tricks on you,

Your mind,

Your mine,

My mind,

When did you start to loose your mind, you are all messed up of this, its your entire life is it not?

I don’t mind to help you see the way

Back to the body,

The sex, the shame

Its all of ours, to see,

To be

One again,

Share it,

Give it

Share what?

The strain of it all

On the mind.

On all of us.

I am fine, i don't care that I have it, I think you don't believe me when I say that,

I don't sit at home and cry, I live my life, You don't understand me? I am not what I am suppose to be, am I?

The lines, draw the line(s),

The red represent the strain, on the veins,

The blue, become, what we remember as the regular mind.

Hide the strain, of the mind, its all in the pills to hide,

The strain,

The strain in the veins and the strain of the mind.

You are rambling on, I deal with things, so it happened, I am lucky I don't show the scars

No one knows, it didn't change my live. I see it  has yours.

You are hell bent on making sure I understand that it has changed yours, we not getting off easy.

yes you are,

people think we are criminals now, not before,

to bad.....

you think that as well, now what happened?

You need to know where to draw the line.

Where to start,

In the heart or the mind?

Its your decision, but

my decision, you think I wanted this, nowadays people should know better. its one of you lifers that gave this to me,....u bitchin queen.

We are here to help, decide

We are your brothers and sisters,

Through the passages,

Of the mind.

Yes, we think we all know how it is.

U dragged me in with a smirk on your face, maybe you should get check now as blood was all over the place.

Its not that big of a deal, we can hide it on the streets,

In the bedroom,

No one can tell, that we carry the HIV.

HIV

HIV

HIV

Its only in the mind

You like the reality of it you pretty one.

That we have the HIV, HIV, HIV

In our hearts,

It cares about us,

The HIV

Its how we beat it,

In the mind

We care about it,

It cares about us,

Just like we,

We care for you in the dementia

The dementia

Cares about you.

If you say that word one more time, you will convince yourself of that lie, you have lost your mind.

Its your mind that cares about you.

So the dementia cares for you.

We can help you understand the break down of the mind.

Fuck you, and your seriousness, when was the last time you looked out that window,

you won't transcend what they think it all is. what you should be, mentally.

I just have a little flu that I just can't seem to kick, it doesn't affect me, I actually now, don't ever get sick.....

We have all had it

Some have come back to us

To the body,

To admire,

To cherish the mind

My mind cherish cock still, does that bother you....are you trying to weed through us sheep, because we are making it hard for you. We are doing what is not expected of us, and acting in the opposite way...we don't hang our heads in shame, or pop an anti-depressent pills, we still go out,

I should hate you and your old ways, you thought you would just scare me a bit slip it in no ejaculation, than say you were positive and scare the pretty thing that he shouldn't play with fire and not go unwrapped...but what happened, that prince albert ripped out.....bleed his sorrow into my veins, still smirking maybe you should get checked, I'm positive...those are the good towels.....

wish I could go back and rip off his face......

who's fault is it?

I don't care to remember?

Until,

You old ones first generation AIDS victims come along and don't know it is not 1981 either like the rest of them.  And I am pissed off

The HIV, HIV the AIDS

It will care for you if you don’t look backwards,

There's your problem, you think your done, we just have started with you, we are still young,

Look up, the sun will warm your skin, (the son your son)

The body knows best, so do we

We have lived with it for so long.

And look at us

We don’t mind.

You bury yourself in that virus, you wait for that doom, that won't come, the crisis is not as it once was,  You lie when you say you don't mind.

(together)

I am suppose to die, yes?

Yes,

No,

The HIV, ()AIDS)

HIV, (AIDS)

Will die

Before I will

Die,

Dementia

It’s the dementia

No it’s the not the HIV…its AIDS ....yes it is?

Look at you .... you want to drag us down in all of this, I am sorry, but just because you may be jealous or think we get off to much

making it look easy and making it hard for you, because we have a new set of rules. You are trying to pull us out into the open not to help, but to damn us along with the rest of you old ones.

You all know

What the HIV will do to you if you do not know what you want from it.

It wants everything you have,

You have a friend

It’s a friend

Yes, it’s a friend

Its my friend

Be a friend.

I will be your friend, I will give you my HIV. (AIDS)

Do you want my AIDS Oh wait HIV is what it is

I 've lost all my friends.

Oh God, not this again

Yes I do!.....have it, no AIDS bitch...its a virus, AIDS, you make me laugh.

Fuck, Fuck, Fuck....Fuck me, Fuck me, Fuck me,   what did you say? you just bleed inside of me.........Fuck me, I already have it, it makes no difference to me now, are you starting to understand

why we are free sexually we know we have it.

I did not ask you to marry me!

Do you want to marry the world of HIV?

If you want it, I won’t give it to you.

Ask a friend, ask a lover

I am asking if you want it.

I am the strain to come,

The cum will set you free,

If you need sometime to think, becauser you are all over the place in trying to figure it out,.... still, what its been 20 years.

The strain is great!

Are you up to the challenge?

Dealt with it yesterday, I am only 3 years in, What do you have to say to that, miss thing

You want to prove your membership to your brothers and sisters.

I can give you a lifetime membership.

Are you ready?

Yes I am! No, I am a black sheep in this community

Talk to me tomorrow and we’ll see if you say the same thing.

You know what I only do one night stands, so you 'll be out of luck.

I don't need to listen to your redirc

that does just as much harm as their stigma.

I hate that word,

The word if you say it!

HIV

You get it.

HIV

I got it.

You have it?

I know it, does he?

Have it

The stigma of it placed on his door, stamped on my back, little decease carrying faggit.

No, Know you got it!

You get it.

I have it already, (I already got it)

But does he know you got it, but you don’t get it.

Get what,

Get the hell out of my sight.

I will not be part of your game. (this game)

You started it, telling people my friends and I don't play the right way.

A part of it.

A part of the world of HIV. (AIDS)

But this is your world,

Ask your son, his darkest secrets,

What alley way he lurks in while you sleep,

You have done something haven't you, Your shame shines brightly, in that rambling of you, I want that one that won't do what he's told, zip it up no more sex for all of you.

Maybe - maybe not, floats in all our minds, when did it infect me, I could have passed it on, at some point,

But I won't wither and die like you thinking I should not have got it or something else. The wrong cock at the wrong time, Holy Shit, now what

Die bitch

Live

On the body,

On the body,

Lets go!

Get us some cock,

Lets do the walk,

Down the street,

Around the block,

I can handle it,

I like to strut my stuff,

Oh, yes I do,

Let’s call all my friends,

Cock-ka

Cock-ka

It’s the call of the wild,

It’s how we find them,

We like to suck,

We like to fuck,

Cock-ka

Cock-ka

We are the ones,

We are the rarity,

You can find us,

All you need,

Is the talk,

Say, it

Say, it

Ok,

Cock-ka

What did you say?

He has,

Cock,

Cock,

(what?)

(no)

(she’s  got cock)

(he can handle that walk)

That is wild,

Cock-ka

Cock-ka

I can handle this

walk.

around the block.

He gets it, he wants to belong.

He’s got it, so do you!

No I don’t

I know you don’t but do you get it?

You got in my face, now you get it, its in the family

Say goodbye, say hello to our brother,

Your son will be home soon,

See you later

Say hello to (my) Big Brother.

We are here to support you and your needs,

The need to see, you will be a part, a part of the world.

Not just the world of the HIV,

But part of the entire world,

NO,

Just the world of HIV

That surrounds us all.

The streets, are not your enemy, we can hide amongst,

The clean.

We are clean ourselves, scrub your body,

From head to toe, the scent does not matter,

May it be vanilla bean, or, coffee, the scent,

Of musk, there is nothing to hide from, with us.

You will see the beauty of the virus,

The beauty of us, we are here, to hear your thoughts,

To see through your eyes,

To experience it with you, as you start your journey.

to end your life.

It’s not the beginning or middle its the start to the end,

Your exit from your mother’s womb was the beginning.

This is a step to enlightenment.

An understanding of yourself and of the actions that you,

Will take in the next.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

back to woman at the beginning

(insert section of baby with HIV)

It’s all warm and quite,

Protected by my mother, awaited by my father,

They will protect me on the outside,

Who will protect my journey there?

I begin my journey to the light with only myself, to protect

Remember to, but not later in life,

To keep my eyes closed,

And mouth shut.

It starts alone, will my journey to the end,

Be the same.

Will the gift my mother and father have given me,

Life,

Death,

The shame of their lives,

Will I care for me?

Everyday

I will have to wait till just the right moment,

The see the light, or the pain,

The world I hope for, will it be

Journeyed alone,

No, there are others, to help burden the load.

I hope they find me on the other side.

I will sleep now, reserve my energy,

Will my parents, regret their decision,

To let me live, I will not regret, a moment

Of this life that has been given, me.

Even if it’s drenched in their blood,

Or in their shame, I will make them

Understand, it’s not their fault, to have yearned,

For me, I will prove to them, and survive

And keep alive that little part of them, which they will die from,

At my side.

(I will die from one day, by their side.)

He will be the greatest,

Creation of all, he will carry it with him,

With his all,

His all?

He will understand, what needs to be done,

If we don’t live long enough to explain it

Ourselves.

The others will know how to nourish his thoughts,

Guide him down the right path,

The path not cluttered with to many thoughts,

We will eliminate as much as we can, before we leave this place.

A place that has shunned us,

A community that has turned its back.

Some of us hide,

Some of us fight

We work together, to keep it alive.

His part in this, he will have to decide,

When will his decision be made, now or later?

We will have to wait.

I do not pray,                     

I do not wish,

It’s his life, but I know he will make the right decisions, be it at the start,

Or part way through,

He will love us; love it, as we do.       

 You are so sure of this – he may decide not to come, stand at our side / its only a small part of him! – why do you want to brand him yours, forever in this fight? – you have lost your thoughts in your own misery – you made your choices, don’t punish others for your misdeeds. Do you know where the HIV entered your life?

You can’t be that taken with it, it hasn’t taken your life!

His gene pool is part of the elite,

The new strain of people that fight

Some right from the beginning, others must decide, when the time is right.

He won’t take his own life,

We will all make sure of that,

That’s what some want, but we will take theirs, if they try.

Protect our children,

From their evil thoughts,

We have the right to live our life.

We are still the same,

I will not live in shame,

Of my decisions.

Their decisions will bring them shame.

So shame, the shame of their own family will come!

For getting in my face, for getting into my veins.

I have started a campaign, I will win this fight.

Did you know all this before his life, started so small, but now looms over me, you seem to know, much more now, please forgive me if I pull back from your thoughts – there is something evil and out of place.

The fight for our rights?

I fight for my child to have a normal life. He will not be a part of this misguided thought – You don’t think of him!

What if he makes it through to the other side clean?

Maybe, or just for the right to have my child

At my side, to let my name be carried on.

I did not ask for this burden, we will find their children,

And have them join us in the new sight,

The side of life they fear so much,

It’s still a life that drags along,

We may not wither like they do, but we will not become

Bitter in are old age, we will rejoice in it,

In the virus?

No!  In our lives,

I asked a question! If he’s clean?

You have become confused at why we are here,

NO! there are no defiant clause, that makes him yours – he is not a tool to build your dream / fuel a nightmare – You are banking on the wrong odds.

How many children do you await?

I have my test results, not his – you have frightened me with the look in your eyes!

How did you become one of us? – I need to know, so I know where we stand - You need to step away from me – I think you just want the world to end, you need to go back to the beginning.

Its on page one.

Do you hear your own voice, or are you
lost in the thoughts of other people whispering in your ear?

You are whispering to me right now!

No! I am talking to you, discussing our plan.

Our plan and dreams for our lives.

Who is whispering to you?

Is it a woman?

Or is it man?

One or the other!

It is just the voices that I hear everyday I turn around,

Sometimes you are their!

Sometimes no one is near!

Are you sure it’s just not yourself,

Thinking of what you have done,

Or want to do?

Well who else would it be? I am not insane.

If I hear a voice and no one is there, it must be mine,

No one else can get inside my mind.

Well you are on my mind everyday and every moment,

But that is different, I have invited you there.

Maybe it’s my baby, what a wonderful thought.

I know!

It will be wonderful, just remember that everyday.

Yes it is wonderful, to know it everyday!

Will he surpass us in each of his days?

Maybe!

Maybe you won’t find out!

If we figure it out – your motive – You want to spread these thoughts – but you hide why,

Why I want a child  - either it be born or adopted you can’t lie.

Now back to the circle – sit and clear your mind, you will not shame us, because of your fear.

The ones who won’t get pricked, have nothing to hide in their lie to themselves,

They will have my heartbreak.

You are up to something that is clear – now give us your plan – help us understand.

(don’t look him in the eye – he is clever to see / we must help him before he misdeeds)

-----------------

Am I a HIV Positive person?

Am I a straight or gay person?

Am I a Visible minority?

Am I a HIV Negative person?

Am I an Invisible man? One third of the population!

We are all here to be seen,

To be heard,
The world was so beautiful,

The world came crashing,

in on me,

Stigma,

had them look

Down on me.

I lost myself in thoughts,

In my mind.

I looked around, saw no one,

But heard everyones

judgment, of everything,

that was private, to me.

This is my world,

Mine, alone
No One needs to know,

but themselves,

Now its

Shouted to everyone,

he's positive

I was criticized!

I was thought a fake!

With false roots,

Of the truth

I escaped a black eye,

But my mind was marked,

Forever by hate.

From misunderstanding and

Fear.

And the most dreaded

Stigma filled,

idiots, dumbed down, but what

else can I say, a bit insulting,

but not as bad as Stigma,

labeling me

That AIDS Bastard

nevertheless

Caution,

Caution,

Was stamped on my door.

The door that locked me away from

The world,

Away from everyone, but myself.

No need to be cautious of me or,

My words

No need to mark me anything,

other than

one healthy HIV positive person....

I don't Believe I just said that to everyone,

Again I don't need to unless You're fucking me,

or you, blah, blah,

You straight bitches its all about you in those court cases,

over three quarters are filed by woman to guys,

get out of my face, and our gay ways here,

There he is and his entourage of bugs, scrambling about,

the city.

Needing to be exterminated,

does no one see what disease these roaches are carrying,

spreading, with such easy.

those disease carrying faggits.

His thoughts that we are trying to understand,

You are judging on only what you perceive and things you see him

and his friends,

What they are doing,

What you think they are doing,

To everyone out there,

All the angles are hard for to see,

from one vantage point.

Its not the one you think he is doing it to that you want to protect.

No I think you think they are doing something to you,

and their actions with damage the respect you Think,

YOU deserve.

In all these years of not living.

You are trying to protect yourself,

in exterminating them, from this world.

so you won't get beat up, or lashed out of fear.

You want no one to remember them, or even know that they where here.

they don't deserve anything,

but my

Your fear, of being known and your misdeeds.

You see them fulling your dreams, of what you could have been,

if given all the chances and opportunities.

That's what is called jealousy.

it has nothing do with HIV.......the new ones keeping living, and thats why you hate them.....

go find some victims...bitch....we're different.....

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rambling result of reading above part of it, maybe...decide later

We are doing everything the gay community haas drilled into our heads not to do,